It’s time for another group posting of the Insecure Writer’s Support Group! Time to release our fears to the world – or offer encouragement to those who are feeling neurotic. If you’d like to join us, click on the tab above and sign up. We post the first Wednesday of every month. I encourage everyone to visit st a dozen new blogs and leave a comment. Your words might be the encouragement someone needs.

Every month, the organisers announce a question that members can answer in their IWSG Day post. Remember, the question is optional!!!

This month’s co-hosts:  Dolorah @ Book Lover, Christopher D. Votey, Tanya Miranda, andChemist Ken!


OPTIONAL IWSG Day Question: How do major life events affect your writing? Has writing ever helped you through something?

There was a time, not too long ago, when I wasn’t drawn to the idea of the optional IWSG Day Question. I preferred to write what I wanted to write instead. Then, one day I was stuck for ideas, so I turned to the question offered. And, I’ve been a convert ever since. I’ve only missed one month and that was because I couldn’t come up with an answer! But, apart from that, I’ve come to relish the Question – even looking forward to it – to see what the clever upper-ups at IWSG Headquarters have come up with next.

I love the October Question!


11717197_10152841846311744_1745896926_nWriting has helped me through every hard time and helped me to get through every trial I’ve experienced. There have been times, after the losses of family members, when I’ve stopped writing altogether. Dried up and couldn’t write, at the same time I didn’t want to be near anything about the online world, at all. There have been times when I’ve needed to retreat in silence and stillness and be with the grief.

After hard times, writing was my way back into the world of people, and into the fray via the internet. Sometimes, I would resist for longer than others. But, eventually, every time I suffered a blow and was devastated, I returned to my normal life by sitting and translating what I had been through into words. Writing blog posts, writing for my monthly newsletter, writing fiction.


Writing always provided the catalyst for my positive evolution, through the sadness and out onto the other side, of having grown through the experience.

In that place, I could contribute again and be of service through writing my stories, and other stuff, along the way.

My father died in February of this year. Within about three hours of getting the news he had passed, I was off the grid. I’d sorted out what needed to be done for the household to run and for the world to excuse the boys and I for a week. Then, we were on the road for my parents’ seaside town. I stayed off line and away from my cell phone, feeling  I needed all my energy and attention on the unfolding events as we laid dad to rest.


We returned home, and I was a different person. I could feel it, I knew it. You are so changed when you lose someone important in your life. I’d always suspected losing dad would be the most painful, and so it was. I couldn’t face writing or any sort of social media. I remained in this “other” space for weeks. I’d cried so much over the week of sitting with his body and then burying him that I was completely dry of tears. I had wept until I couldn’t shed anymore. So, I did my daily exercises and tended to the kids, ran the household, and went to Toastmasters, gave speeches, without really being there.

I was on automatic without being fully engaged in my life.


One of my fellow Toastmasters said I had lost weight that she could see it in my face, and she expressed worry about me, which really touched my heart.

One day, I opened my computer and I made myself open my work-in-progress. I sat in front of my laptop, and I started editing and rewriting and the energy started to flow again. I felt myself literally coming to life, through the passion I have for my stories. My writing ushered me up from the void into the land of the living again. I was once again able to engage with my children and others in my life fully and I was working on my book.

I felt such deep gratitude!

Has writing ever helped you?


Keep Writing!

Yvette K. Carol


I put things down on sheets of paper and stuff them in my pockets. When I have enough, I have a book. ~ John Lennon



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  1. Writing is therapy… at no cost.
    So sorry to read about the loss of your dad, Yvette. But…it sounds like you’re in a state of flow once again. Keep going. No matter how difficult it gets. Baby steps… one at a time.
    Take care.

    Liked by 1 person

    • yvettecarol says:

      I’ve always said that, too, re writing being free therapy. You can move through anything basically, if you write about it, you get it all out there on the page.
      Thanks for the kind comment, Michelle.


  2. cleemckenzie says:

    Thank you for writing such a beautiful answer to this question. I couldn’t do it this month; I’m still a bit raw and processing my loss, but what you wrote is perfect.

    Liked by 1 person

    • yvettecarol says:

      I’m so sorry for your loss, Clee! It’s intense pain to be dealt with day by day, that never seems to go away but becomes more bearable as time goes on. Thanks for the comment.


  3. I love how writing helps you. That’s my husband for me–always gets me through trauma so I can get back to writing. I am sorry for anyone who doesn’t have something–be it writing or a husband–to get them through these tough times.

    Liked by 1 person

    • yvettecarol says:

      Thanks for that, Jacqui. How lovely that you have a wonderful husband to help you through. The romantic in me likes that. Yes, you definitely need some support in bad weather and I echo your sentiment.


  4. Olga Godim says:

    I understand completely, both your inability to write through the pain and turbulence, and then later, when the storm has passed, using your writing as a way back to normal again.
    Sorry about your dad.

    Liked by 1 person

    • yvettecarol says:

      Thanks, Olga.
      I think it’s that when the chips really are down, I can’t do two things at once. I can’t write with only half of my focus available. It’s all or nothing!


  5. I’m so sorry for your loss, Yvette. I don’t even want to imagine it… I’m glad that you’ve found energy from writing 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Thank you for sharing your story, Yvette. I think it really helps the rest of us feel normal about how we process grief. I love the collage with your dad, and that two-shot of you and him is pretty great, too. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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