I know, I’m late again. Wednesday is time for another group posting of the Insecure Writer’s Support Group! Time to release our fears to the world – or offer encouragement to those who are feeling neurotic. If you’d like to join us, click on the tab above and sign up. We post the first Wednesday of every month. I encourage everyone to visit at least a dozen new blogs and leave a comment. Your words might be the encouragement someone needs.

InsecureWritersSupportGroup

Right now, I am deeply insecure about the human race.

It’s hard to look at our planet right now and be chipper about it, even for an upbeat, optimistic, Sagittarian Dragon like me.

How can I continue to create my imaginary literary worlds when the real world around me is going to hell in a hand basket?

Although I appear somewhat refined, I’m actually low-brow. I loved Harry Potter, love ‘following the Kardashians,’ going to the movies, eating ice-cream and too much junk food on my time off. I don’t read the news, don’t know anything about politics, didn’t go to University, didn’t get a degree, well, you get the idea. I’m a fairly basic human being.

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Nevertheless, I still have my own expression to share.

I look at the world and I am disappointed by the sad state of our planet, by stupid credit wrecking world finances, by inane politics, by religions, by the state of our education system, by practically everything! I’m deflated right down to being scared of the strange characters loose on the streets, that make it too dangerous for a single woman to jog.

On my jog today, I was frightened by a man.

All day, I’ve been trying to think of a solution. I could jog with someone else, if I knew someone who lived nearby who jogged. But, apart from the lack of such a person, I use my running as time to commune with myself, in the style of a semi-meditation. So, that’s not really an option.

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There have been lots of incidents over the 20+ years I’ve been living here. I’ve been forced to change the times of day I run, and the routes many times. I used to run at 5 in the morning, when I got a doozy of a scare to find a man had been waiting for me in an alley. I changed to running at 9 a.m. 4 p.m. midday. Then, I changed it back to 8 in the morning which is where I am, currently.

Today was the second time in a few days, that I’ve seen the same terrifying guy, with the deadly serious attitude.

It was pouring with rain.

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As I ran past this man walking, I knew it was the same man who had given me chills from two days before. I thought I’d better check the stranger was still walking on up the road. But, he wasn’t. He’d stopped and was starting to turn around.

My guts said, “MOVE!”

I saw I was a few steps from the driveway of another school mama. I shot down to her front door. She and her daughter, and their big dog were just getting ready to leave for school. She said, “What’s wrong?”

I said, “There’s a strange man on the road, and I came to the nearest safe house.”

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She said, “Don’t worry. Brut will scare them off!”

We went back up their driveway. The man in the hoodie was loitering on the other side of the road.

I said, “There he is!”

At that, the man pivoted and took off into the property behind him.

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I thanked my friends and ran home safely. Yet, it was like the final straw. I have ignored the signs for years. But now, it’s unavoidable. I have to accept that my freedom is curtailed, because it is not safe to jog anymore. And something in me really rankles against that. I’ve spent the day feeling incensed.

With evening, I find I’m left with this great weight of disappointment like a sad blanket upon me. I’m disappointed by the human race.

Someone on Facebook said a few days ago, that he feels a sense that the miraculous is afoot. This does give a glimmer of hope. Captain Kirk in the new Star Trek movie, says, “I think you’re underestimating the human race” I sure hope so! However, I’ve also decided to invest in a treadmill.

In this sad, old world of ours how do we artists continue to create our imaginary Edens?

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Talk to you later.

Keep on Creating!

Yvette K. Carol

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The sun, the moon and the stars would have disappeared long ago, had they happened to be within reach of predatory human hands. ~ Henry Havelock Elllis

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Comments
  1. I feel your pain. What are we doing to create such creepy human beings? Is he a product of centuries of chemical treated crops? Is he just the norm, a creature the world has always birthed? Find a friend, Yvette. Or a dog you can borrow. I’m sorry this is your new reality. But this is only one creep in a world filled with angels.

    Liked by 1 person

    • yvettecarol says:

      Thanks for the empathy, Joylene. I went to watch television last night, thinking, take me to another place better than here. I went from channel to channel seeing images I did not want to see, murder this, money that, and I began to feel exasperated all over again. But, after a night’s sleep, it’s a new day. I’ve come online and find already there are two angels who have corresponded with me here on my blog, and I begin to feel new positivity. Thank you 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. ahtdoucette says:

    Yvette, I sincerely believe that at times like this, more than ever, the world needs creative people to talk about the way things could be better, different, and to try to bring out the goodness and greatness already there. It’s tough and can feel impossible but sometimes that’s how you know you’re in exactly the right place. I truly believe that, which is personally why I write as my chosen way to make the world a little bit of a better place. Thanks for sharing this and being open.
    Anne

    Liked by 1 person

    • yvettecarol says:

      Thanks, Anne. I really sincerely am interested in feedback, and seeing how people feel about this issue. Thank you for your wonderful input. You’ve given me food for thought. And, you’ve reminded me that before I began to feel jaded with the world, I used to believe very much in the power of story as a source of inspiration and upliftment. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. karenmcfarland says:

    Smart move Yvette. I’m so glad someone was close by that you could run to. I love to take walks. Yet, I have stopped walking because we have a serial killer on the loose that hasn’t been caught yet. So I exercise indoors. It’s not the same, but it’s what we have to do to stay safe. What I find so interesting is the fact that these dangerous situations, be it what happened to you or the other violence we’ve all witnessed recently, is happening all over the world at once. No more is it a random incident singled out in one part of the world. No, we’re witnessing this stuff everywhere. It’s absolutely crazy. I think if not for my faith in God, the Bible and prayer, I wouldn’t know where to turn. These are truly scary times. Stay safe my dear friend! ((Hugs))

    Liked by 1 person

    • yvettecarol says:

      Yes, I was thinking the exact same thing. That same afternoon, I came online and saw the headline “Mass stabbing in London.” The whole world is combustible right now. Best to stay safe indoors, as you say. Good idea. Boyo, though, having a serial killer at large sounds really bad. Keep your phone on you at all times, Karen.
      Thanks for the feedback! 🙂

      Like

  4. Hi Yvette.
    Sorry about your terrible experience. Yes, the real world around us is going to hell in a hand basket. So sad but true.

    Creative expression fosters healing and mental well-being. More than ever, our artistic/creative/writerly voices are needed. We just have to keep on, even when things seem impossible.
    Take care. 🙂

    Writer In Transit

    Liked by 1 person

    • yvettecarol says:

      Hi, Michelle, thank you for commenting. I appreciate your sentiments. I’m beginning to think that ‘just keeping on’ is even more important when ‘things seem impossible!’ It’s almost like, we, artists of the world, keep a fire burning for the rest of the human race! 🙂

      Like

  5. This is a warning to you – go with your gut. I would definitely plan on running with other people. this guy is creepy and I think you need a dog!. Roxie would be there for you but she is in the time-out box because, once again, she’s in trouble!

    Liked by 1 person

    • yvettecarol says:

      Yes, I felt it was a warning, too, Clare. In fact, I can remember saying to a concerned friend about 14 years ago, that I was fine going out to exercise in the mornings and she needn’t worry. Yet, I’ve had the occasional scare each year ever since. Finally, this was the last straw. I am now the proud owner of a treadmill. It arrived today and we set it up tonight.
      Thanks for the offer of Roxie! If she wasn’t in time out, she’d be better than a guard dog. I could run thinking, “No worries, I’ve got Roxie with moxie!” ha ha 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • Yvette, I remember you writing a previous post about a similar incident and I told you about my experience with a person who had killed a young boy and hid it from all of us for years. You never know and it is better to be cautious. Plus, you can put your notes in front of you and practice your Toastmaster Talks while on the treadmill. Win-win!
        Moxie Roxie is demanding to go out to the gazebo this morning. I am seriously thinking of screening in a back porch just for her. I can’t believe she’s so effective in running my life! Clare

        Liked by 1 person

  6. emaginette says:

    Change your schedule so you never run at the same time or the same route and take a dog with you. They love to run. 🙂

    Anna from elements of emaginette

    Liked by 1 person

    • yvettecarol says:

      Thanks, Anna! We bought a treadmill. So far, my kids have been on it more than I have! However, it’s brilliant. Here it’s winter at the moment. The last few days, it’s been cold and raining and oh, how I have loved the new treadmill. Joy! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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