The fear of putting out that first book.

Posted: September 3, 2015 in Uncategorized

It’s time for another group posting of the Insecure Writer’s Support Group! Time to release our fears to the world – or offer encouragement to those who are feeling neurotic. If you’d like to join us, click on the tab above and sign up. We post the first Wednesday of every month. I encourage everyone to visit at least a dozen new blogs and leave a comment. Your words might be the encouragement someone needs.


Presently, I’m all caught up in the wonderfully exciting and yet, fraught end times of producing my first ever book. I submitted the finished manuscript of ‘The Or’in of Tane Mahuta’ to the printing place on August 21, just two weeks ago.


After so many years of writing stories, and a decade of hard graft on this particular story, I find myself mere weeks away from actually holding this baby in my hand. Incredible! Nevertheless, whirlwind aside, it’s happening. And now, I get to face that other fear I’ve had and that is, the fear of how my story will be received.

That’s my insecurity for this post, the fear of putting out that first book.


Mitchell James Kaplan, said, “Writers should never believe anything anyone tells them about style or anything else. To be a good writer means to question everything, to look beyond appearances and fashions.” Yes, that’s true.

However, I can’t get away from the fact that I still have these insecurities anyway.

I still want the world, or at the very least, a hard-bitten few, to love my stories, and to carry on the journey with me. I want folks to join in with me on the flights of imagination which have seemed to come effortlessly to me ever since I was a small child of three, telling stories to entertain my baby brother.


Yeah, that’s what I want. A girl can dream. They say the Y generation have entitlement issues, and can get disillusioned by the realities of life. My generation, I’d venture to say, might be a little bit more practical. Yet, even so, I’m finding everything about the process of self-publishing to be daunting right now. Every day, I learn something new.


A friend warned me it’d be an adrenalin ride till publication day, and so far, she’s right. I’m consulting constantly with the cover artist and with the graphic designer and book printer, over the all-important little details. I’m thinking and organizing all the different bits and myriad pieces needed to bring the launch party together. Publishing your own book is an undertaking of mammoth proportions. It calls on every ounce of brain power you possess, it requires the stamina of an endurance runner, and the willpower of a gladiator. This is the stuff of champions!

“After trad publishing a few, I switched and won’t go back. I love the control over my book’s destiny 🙂 Every choice is an act of love.” ~ D. Wallace Peach

While I may be grumbling a bit about the rigours of the process of book production, I’m not even doing all the formatting and everything myself. No, I’m too exhausted by everything at the moment for that. I opted to pay a local printing outfit, for a package deal. They’re going to format it, design the cover and back cover, give me an IBSN number, a digital copy, and 100 paperback copies. The artwork for the cover is finished and it’s amazing. We’re in the final throes now. Which brings me neatly back to my being terrified of putting this book out there and hearing crickets! Eeeks. The fear is so very real.

Does anyone else reach for the chocolate at times like this?


Keep creating!

Talk to you soon,

Yvette K. Carol

Look, writing a novel is like paddling from Boston to London in a bathtub. Sometimes the damn tub sinks. It’s a wonder that most of them don’t.

– Stephen King

  1. dianawilder says:

    I love this post. Just one person to like it… Well, maybe a couple thousand…? I’ll be one!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. davidprosser says:

    You’d be surprised just how few authors are confident to leave the chocolate intact.
    xxx Huge Hugs xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Catherine Johnson says:

    I hummed and aarghed about a local printer. I think you.female some great choices.

    Liked by 1 person

    • yvettecarol says:

      Thanks for saying that, Catherine! At times I’ve second-guessed the decision, mostly just through witnessing everything Lynn has been going through trying to format our anthology, design the cover, etc, because it’s made me think, should I be doing it all so that I can learn how it’s done? Am I somehow passing the buck? You’ve reassured me. So, thank you for that comment 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  4. amiegibbons15 says:

    Right there with you! Only I reach for the wine 🙂 I’m starting with shorts and releasing them bi weekly till the release of my book in April to ease myself into it and I’m still spazzing 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • yvettecarol says:

      Ah, so you feel the pain, Amie! It’s thrilling and intimidating at the same time 🙂 You have the right idea, easing into it with the serial approach. They say that shorts and serials are becoming more popular these days. Good luck!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. My adrenaline is pumping along with you just reading about your publication journey!


    • yvettecarol says:

      Ha ha. Ever since I made that decision, back on June 25th, to take the brakes off towards publication, the whole world seems to have jumped to ‘make it so’ and I’ve been racing like the wind ever since! I find that whenever I stop for a minute, all I want to do is sleep, though! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  6. joylene says:

    Paddling from Boston to London… I know I wouldn’t make it. I’d have to sprout wings and fly. And then I’d miss my bathtub terribly. Seriously, you are not alone.


  7. emaginette says:

    Remember to savor the moments. It’s exciting and you should love every minute of it. 🙂

    Anna from Elements of Writing

    Liked by 1 person

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